The Year I Became A Mom



39 weeks: The day before we went into the Hospital.

This time last year I was in the final weeks of my pregnancy finishing up everything to welcome our baby girl into the world and preparing for a 2^nd deployment and another year without Pat.   We were so incredibly thankful that the Army delayed Pat’s deployment date so that he could be home for the birth of his first child.   Two weeks after Eleanor was born we said goodbye to Daddy and he went to Afghanistan.

This may be the first time you are hearing me talk about “deployment” on my blog.  There are MANY reasons why I chose not to discuss the deployment via the Internet.  The biggest reason is safety!  I personally don’t like publicizing the fact that my husband is halfway around the world and I am home alone with our baby for a whole year.  I could have certainly written many blog posts about the ups and downs of deployments but I kept that private.  But those who read my blog regularly would have noticed the obvious absence of Pat in my blog postings and might have picked up on the mentions here and there of “Daddy”.

So here is a little bit of what I like to call "The Year I Became A Mom" and the deployment.

I still remember the day like it was yesterday.  Dropping off Pat, trying to savor every last minute together, and video recording his goodbyes to Ellie.  It’s incredibly difficult for your husband to be away for a whole year period but add to the fact that he is missing out on all the wonderful moments with your little baby girl.  Try as I might I was not going to let it bring me down.  The 1^st year of your baby’s life is such an exciting one that I just wanted to enjoy and cherish every precious moment.  So I tried to take my focus off the deployment and poured all of it into our daughter and that helped me get through the days.  Especially the tough days! 

I remember driving home with Ellie after dropping Pat off saying “Alright girlie, it’s just you and me.  It's all going to be ok.  We are going to get through this year together and before we know it Daddy will be home with us again.”  That was something I have said to her a lot over this past year.   With lots of love and support from family and friends and LOTS of prayer, we did make it through :)

Through pictures and video, emails, my blog, and the occasional webcamming (didn’t get to do that often) I was able to keep Pat updated and as included as possible in the many changes and milestones of Ellie.   We kept having to remind ourselves that she isn't going to remember that her daddy was gone for a year and missed watching her grow.  Even though Pat and I will certainly remember how it felt, we know that this experience has only strengthened our marriage and our family.

More than anything I wanted to make sure that Ellie could have little pieces of Daddy all over the house.   We did that in many different ways.  Pat went to Build-A-Bear and made Ellie a bunny with a special message inside.  It sits in the glider and as part of our nighttime routine we say good night to Daddy and listen to that special message.  She smiles every time she hears his voice and in the last 2 months every night she buries her face in it like she is giving him a kiss.  Of course you have seen the bunny make its appearance in our monthly photo shoots!

We are also obsessed with the recordable books from Hallmark and have 4 books that Pat recorded himself reading.  Those are Ellie’s favorite!!    

Ellie also has 2 little books just for her that are filled with pictures of she and Daddy and pictures of the 3 of us that she absolutely loves looking at.

Not to mention her super special “Daddy Doll”.  It’s a picture of Daddy in his uniform that was turned into a doll.  It’s absolutely precious.  All the children in our company got Daddy Dolls of their dads.  In the past month when I ask her “where’s Daddy?” or “can you go get Daddy for me?” she goes and finds her Daddy doll in the toy basket and brings it to me.  That was such an exciting moment when she did that for the first time!!!  I keep telling her that Daddy a lot bigger than that doll :) 

I need to so a BIG thank to our families for all the love and encouragement you have given me during that past year.  It’s been hard being so far away from family but we made it work.  Thank you for coming to visit me and giving me help!!!  Ellie and I could not have gotten through it without you!!! We Love You All!!

Secondly, I have to thank my amazing support system here in New York, my friends, fellow army wives and new mommies like myself.  You girls have made this year so much better!! I am so thankful that have had each other to share in all the milestones of our babies, sitting up, crawling, first teeth, etc.   We enjoyed many play dates, walks, trips to the park, birthdays, lunches, swimming, and fun outings.  It’s so nice to have friends that know exactly what you are going through :)  You are the  

Thank you to all my friends who do not live here in New York!!  Your love, support, emails, and phone calls meant so much to me!!!

Most importantly, I am so PROUD of my wonderful husband and the amazing service and sacrifice that he has made for our country while serving in Afghanistan.  He is definitely not one to seek recognition or acknowledgement.  So it’s my job to give him the recognition he deserves.   He kept up a great attitude during this deployment even though it was killing him to be away from me and Ellie.  He is an outstanding officer and pilot and I am so happy that he is doing a job that he loves no matter how difficult it may be at times.  You are our HERO!!!

Lastly, Eleanor, my girl, we got through it!!!  I knew when she was 6 weeks old and slept 8 start hours at night for the first time that she was going to be such a big helper to Mommy!!!  And the nighttime sleep kept getting longer and longer :) She has truly been such a happy and easy going baby.  Trust me we had our moments where I would think, “man, wouldn’t it be great if Daddy would be coming home from work so that I could get a BREAK!!”  She made this tough year so meaningful, joyful, and purposeful. I feel so blessed to have such an amazing little girl.  I love you so much Ellie!!!

I feel an enormous amount of weight being lifted off my shoulders.  I am looking forward to how much easier life is going to be now that I have my husband and partner back home.

Now, this next year is going to be "The Year We Become A Family".

The banners are up, the balloons are hung, and we are ready to go welcome home our soldier tonight!!!

Thank you God for bringing him home safely!!